Hey Pavol, Welcome to Vancouver
July 10, 2008
Hey Pav, you mind if I call you Pav? Cool.
Hey anyways, I wanted to welcome you to this fine city of mine. There’s plenty to do here and…oh wait…sorry, my BlackBerry is blowin up over here…can you hold this triple half caff vente latte non fat macchiato for me? What? No that’s cool, I’ve got four coffee shops in my building so I can totally get another one, I’ll just give it to this guy who’s squeegeeing off this windshield over here.
So where were we? Oh ya, welcome to Vancity! I wanted to thank you for signing with us, and just like you I’m totally looking forward to wanting to trade you away immediately after the first mediocre game you have, and to scream shooooooooot at you during power plays because we all know, the only way to score is to shoot right? No matter who’s in front of you!
Now I hope you don’t mind that you might only be playing for a quarter filled arena for the first period of each game…its kinda hard to get a cab here, and game start at 7:05 most nights, which is kind of silly because who goes to Earls for preloading drinks before 6:30 on game nights?…like I mean really.
So hey, I don’t really know where you’re from or anything like that, but do know that when you have a hat trick or a big hit, I’ll be running out to buy your jersey between periods and put it right on overtop of the brand new small retro logo Canucks T shirt I bought just as I got to the stadium tonight.
So I better let you go, I have three parking ticket attendants milling around my car right now watching for the meter to expire, and I have to get to the doggie t-shirt store to get an old skool Linden jersey for my super effeminate lap dog that’s always shaking.
So have fun, and if you ever need a hook up into Republic let me know, the doorman there gets personal trained by my girlfriends sisters boyfriends roommate.
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8 Responses to “Hey Pavol, Welcome to Vancouver”
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Now that Naslund’s gone there will be zero female Canuck fans. Err…not fans, douchettes?
my Pomeranian in the Gino Odjick jersey takes personal offense to all of that.
There will also be less Linden cougars, but I think Luongo’s dreamy enough to keep them coming back. And by dreamy i mean…save percentage…
Great read, i laughed.
On a side note im actually glad Naslund’s gone, but kinda pissed that he didn’t retire like he has been talking about for years. I mean its a slap to the faces of all the people who petitioned to keep him a few years back.
-Steve
He’s from Slovakia. According to Sean Avery, he doesnt shower much. Oh and the Republic sucks BALLS
^ I wouldn’t listen to anything Sean Avery has to say. He’s the ULTIMATE douchebag of doom.
Seems like a decent hookup for the Canucks.
This article would have made me piss my shorts if I was a typical metrosexual Vancouver guy. Luckily I am not. I am laughing inside and something has to be special for that to happen. Great article, two thumbs up.
Linden cougars. LOL. They will be missed nearly as much as his perfectly curved cocktail weenie of a nose! BEAT IT!
If Sean Avery signed with Van he would be the best forward on the team. What does that tell you? Also Linden should be allowed to play only in the shootouts.